With over twenty five years of experience being involved in step-relationships of one kind or another, I want to help other people in similar relationships. To help me achieve that goal I retrained to become an integrative psychotherapist, and have a special interest in helping and transforming step-family dynamics. So, you will see that the content in the blog is often aimed at prospective step-parents, biological parents and step-children who may be curious about what makes a good step relationship. My special area of interest widens to a broader interest in relational and group dynamics - for example in couples, as well as in teams found in the corporate world, where I spent the first twenty years of my career. To that end, some articles are also focused around couple dynamics, as well as the types of issues that commonly arise in within the workplace.
The blog is intended to be a useful resource to provide help and guidance for those embarking on, developing and then maintaining a step-relationship. In the future, my aim is for this blog to become more of a community, where people can ask questions, share ideas and contribute their own stories.
I have personally been involved in many different kinds of step-relationships for over 25 years. These relationships all taught me a tremendous amount, and have given me some of my best – and at times difficult – memories. There aren't many resources available to help people adjust to new step-relationships, either in the form of books, blogs or therapists with specific expertise and focus in this area. Believe me, I have felt pretty much every emotion there is to experience in my step-relationships – joy, frustration, happiness, anger, contentment, insecurity, pride, resentment – and the list goes on. So trust me when I say that there is a good chance that I’ve been there and done it – and there’s nothing you could ask me or say with regards your own experience that will shock me.
I believe every child needs to be around a network of responsible adults who help to guide and nurture them, and it’s very common that some of the closest adults in a child’s life won’t just be limited to their biological parents - many adults act as step-parents to their partner’s children, whether they choose to marry their partners or not. A successful step-relationship can result in a close bond that can last a lifetime. An unsuccessful step-relationship can cause damage to the step-child and even alter the relationship between the child and the biological parent who is partner to the step-parent.
A step-parent relationship is completely different to the relationship between the biological parent and child – but there are many overlaps which will be addressed in the blog – and many people often make the mistake of trying to become an extra parent. By reading this blog or coming to see me for psychotherapy - alone or with your partner - hopefully you will be able to learn the nuances between the two types of relationship, be reassured that some of the emotions you may be feeling are totally normal, and get some tips to help make your step-relationships even healthier and more successful than they may already be.
If you have any feedback, questions or ideas for posts don’t hesitate to get in contact with me, I’d love to hear from you.