If I had a pound for every time someone, usually a girlfriend, has said to me over the years “How on earth do you take on somebody else’s kids? I could never do it!”, then I’d be a millionaire. My reply to these people is usually the same – “if you’re a responsible person and take it seriously, it’s a big deal. But – you can’t choose who you fall in love with and so it just becomes part of the package you sign up for”. I still stand by that today. It’s tough, for sure. Dealing with your own emotions, the way that it changes the dynamic between you and your partner, and trying to do the best by the little people that are suddenly a big and important part of your life is no walk in the park.
When you first meet the person of your dreams, you just never know how life will turn out. Even if they don’t already have children, things may happen to cause untold upheaval in your lives – that at the end of the day you just can’t plan for. If you don’t take the leap of faith that everything will unfold as it’s meant to, as long as you are prepared to grasp new opportunities, then how will you be able to feel any of the joy and love and laughter that these experiences bring too?
Now of course, every situation is unique – and has its own merits and pitfalls. You don’t need to go through a highly traumatic experience for things to be difficult in the day to day. But by developing resilience and patience, two of the most important qualities of being a step-parent, it is entirely possible for a strong and loving relationship to develop over time, and to overcome difficulties that you may encounter along the way.
In conclusion, no matter your age or whether you already have children, you can make it work if you love your partner and both of you are committed to helping the relationship be successful. If you’re currently facing this dilemma then only you know what’s right for you – but good luck, I wish you all the very best.
